There are lots of reasons why men want to last longer in bed.
Sometimes, it could be to ensure your partner’s pleasure is the focus, and that can take time. Other times you want to prolong pleasure for yourself – when it’s just that good, you don’t want it to end.
While there is no written rule about the stipulated time for a man to reach completion after penetrative sex, longer sex sessions and healthy sexual stamina are generally seen as better by many guys.
But if you don’t last longer during sexual activi, don’t worry because you are not alone. According to Medscape, “An estimated 30%-70% of American males experience premature ejaculation. The National Health and Social Life Survey (NHSLS) indicates a prevalence of 30%, which is fairly steady through all adult age categories.”
In better news, there is a solution to your problem. The good news is that there are all kinds of solutions, actually – from treatment options to using a numbing agent to the squeeze method, we’ll discuss them all.
And we’ll also talk about what makes for great sex (hint: it may not be the length of time when it comes to many women!), the psychological aspects of making your dick work, when you should talk to your healthcare provider because of the physical factors, and why not all men need to have some sort of average time they beat.
Causes of Premature Ejaculation
Scientists believe that these conditions are closely related and influenced by psychological and biological factors.
Some of the psychological factors associated with premature ejaculation include:
Anxiety and Stress: it becomes a problem when performance rather than pleasure is your main stress.
A consistent, conscious effort to last longer in bed instead of enjoying the sexual experience often results in premature ejaculation, so it’s often advisable for a man to focus on satisfying his partner instead of achieving a longer sexual time.
Erectile Dysfunction: erectile dysfunction has been directly linked to impair the sexual activity of a man negatively.
A man with erectile dysfunction will most likely be conscious about maintaining an erect penis during sexual intercourse, increasing anxiety and gushing out of ejaculates within minutes of vaginal penetration.
Consistently experiencing this problem leads to a stereotyped pattern of weak ejaculation, requiring extra effort to reverse.
Early Exposure to Sexual Activities and Sexual Abuse: Studies from academic research institutions have shown that premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction is a common phenomenon in different categories of men having varying age groups.
However, this condition is common in younger men who had their first sexual experience at a tender age. Most first sexual experiences of younger men are often mixed with a series of pleasure, excitement, and anxiety and a need to ejaculate early enough to avoid being caught.
For these folks, the experience is deprived of quality knowledge needed to sustain a long-lasting sexual experience; rather, they concentrate on having an orgasm as soon as possible.
A regular engagement in this habit forms an adaptable pattern which morphs into an accepted sexual pattern by these young men if help is not made available.
- An adverse reaction from a spouse
- Other factors include relationship problems, depression, poor body image, etc.
Some of the biological factors associated with premature ejaculation include:
- inflammation of the urethra
- fluctuating hormonal level
- neurological conditions
- thyroid problem
- unusual reflex activities
We have discussed the relative conditions responsible for premature ejaculation; however, what is the essence of discussing a problem without a possible solution?
Understandably, there is no conclusive test to ascertain that you are suffering from premature ejaculation; after all, premature ejaculation is measured based on the satisfaction derived by both sexual partners.
The length of sexual intercourse is not a predominant measure of premature ejaculation but can be equated based on either the positive or negative impact it has on their relationship.
If the negative impact makes the sexual experience less enjoyable, treatment to improve the experience can be sought. A man can be a victim of these conditions when his sexual expectation is not met or when there’s a distress call by his partner for lack of sexual satisfaction.
How You Can Last Longer During Sex
Increased sexual stamina can make your partner drool with so much affection for you. What other feeling can be greater than having a sexual partner with compatible sexual desire, properly skilled in exploring your body while leaving you in awe?
Well, these fantasies can only become a reality when rational decisions are taken to improve your sexual life properly.
Many practices are offered as potential solutions to this disorder; however, some are misleading and do not help alleviate this condition, but you can achieve your desired result with constant practice and perseverance.
For now, some of the best-recommended practices that have been explored over the years and are ascertained to positively increase sexual stamina and libido as well as leaving your partner in awe will be discussed in this session.
Behavioral therapy is one of the most sought-after practices for increased sexual stamina. Research indicated an extensive positive response of about 60-90% in men suffering from this premature ejaculation.
This positive response has made behavioral therapy the most popular and effective treatment option. This method fully enables a man to have full control of his ejaculation and climax when adequately practiced. Behavioral treatment is further subdivided, which are:
Yoga is known to be one of the efficient practices for improving sexual stamina. It’s believed that yoga helps build a reflex action to relieve stress and help improve a healthy, relaxed lifestyle. It is scientifically proven that yoga influences synching the mind and body together.
Since a relaxed mind and muscles are required for an enjoyable sexual episode, yoga can be a great way to achieve that.
The scenic effect of a quiet atmosphere portrays the essence of a newly married couple taking some time off (honeymoon) to a different location. This helps create an exciting environment capable of easing Stress, which positively provides an opportunity for wonderful sex life.
Over the years, men who advocate for premature ejaculation often recommend taking their partners for a vacation to unwind. Studies have proved that this method helps reduce the possibility of an awful sexual experience.
The squeeze technique is another reliable way to improve sexual stamina. Some decades ago, in the quest for exploring sexual behavior, masters and Johnson’s discovered the squeeze technique. This technique involves a quick response to the feeling to ejaculate.
When a man senses he’s about to ejaculate, he’s required to consciously withdraw his thrust and hold the shaft of the penis for about 20 seconds to reduce the erotic sensation that might lead to an outburst of semen.
Once there is a decline in the climax, vagina penetration can resume, and this process is repeated continuously till ejaculation occurs. Continuous practice of these techniques provides the man with the ability to control his ejaculation effortlessly.
Communication is critical in this scenario as it might be rude to perform this process during intercourse without discussing it with your partner beforehand. Discussing this situation only tends to limit her expectation and understand that it’s a necessary temporal situation to improve future sexual experience.
Foreplay includes different activities such as kissing, touching one’s genitals, hugging, cuddling, arousing words, and caressing the breasts before actual sexual intercourse.
Men and women respond differently to sexual stimulation, as it’s observed that women tend to get emotional during foreplay. In contrast, men are often observed to concentrate more on the physical act.
The activities mentioned helps arouse both partners to a point where organism and ejaculation can be achieved simultaneously, leading both partners happy and satisfied.
This method helps stimulate sexual excitement, prepares the body for sexual intercourse, and increases the lubricating fluid in the vagina, which provides a smooth ride.
Masturbation is considered a great way to increase your possibility to last longer in bed. The speculated reference to this method involves a self-stimulation of the male genital a few hours to copulation.
It’s expected to attain a state of ejaculation during masturbation. This helps improve your chances of lasting longer when actual vaginal penetration occurs since some of the seminal fluids have been discarded before copulation and sexual arousal is balanced enough to enable your partner to attain orgasm.
Why masturbation can help you last longer in bed
Masturbation is a great way to explore and understand your reproductive organ. Having a piece of in-depth knowledge about how your body responds to different metabolic processes can also help you explore your sexuality and understand what works best for you and your partner.
Abstinence is a great way to reduce anxiety which is common to premature ejaculation. Abstinence is sometimes recommended as a recuperation process when there is a glitch in a sexual relationship between couples.
In such a scenario, couples are often advised to explore other forms of sexual experience that eliminate the intense pressure peculiar to sexual intercourse. This creates an enabling environment to reconnect and physically connect back to their partner.
Stop and Start Method
This method enables men to train their minds to reduce friction when sexual arousal is at the climax. Dr. Helen Kaplan introduced the start and stop method.
Basically, it’s all about understanding when to stop thrusting to reduce stimulation. There are other techniques as well; many guys call it the “think about baseball” method. But your mental state is only half the problem. You’ve gotta slow your roll as well.
Changing sex positions can help with this method and delay ejaculation. Performing oral sex with clitoral stimulation on your partner is another way. to last longer in bed, although this is means taking your dick out of her, obviously.
Exercising the Pelvic Floor Muscles
Pelvic floor exercises has been explored as a dynamic way to improve sexual stamina. This form of exercise involves voluntary control of the pelvic floor muscles through neurological activities.
Building positive control over the pelvic muscles enables you to control ejaculation as well. Another great advantage of this method is that it also helps eliminate erectile dysfunction since it encourages building strong erection.
To do Kegel exercises, locate the correct muscle. The pelvic floor muscle is characterized as the muscle that prevents urination.
For flexibility and ease to acclimatize with the introduced exercise, it’s often advised to perform this exercise lying down till you get accustomed to the process. Once the muscles are located, flex them continuously as this leads to stronger muscles that contrast easily.
During practice, pay attention to other muscles having a direct connection to the pelvic floor muscle. A flawed process will result in a contraction of the muscles in the buttocks, thighs, and abdomen. Try doing regular pelvic floor exercises and you will start to see a difference.
The use of numbing cream is not considered a treatment option, but it’s a fantastic way to reduce sensitivity of the nerve endings at the tip of the penis, which directly results in delayed ejaculation; hence arousal can be maintained for a longer period.
Apply it 20 – 30 minutes before sexual intercourse. One of the disadvantages to the use of this method include allergic reaction, so it’s imperative to inform your partner about the use of such cream before intercourse
Use a Condom
a condom restricts direct contact between the penis and the vagina walls. The condom creates a dull sensation during sexual intercourse, and this reduces the possibility of PE. Instead, arousal is maintained till both partners are sexually satisfied. Condoms also help prevent sexually transmitted diseases (STI).
In the course of a long-lasting solution for PE, men are often advised to include physiotherapy practices such as pelvic floor exercise, which is believed to help increase sexual stamina. Although this practice is widely accepted, there is no scientific proof to support this hypothesis.
Be Adventurous with Different Sexual Pleasure Positions
the essence of sex is exploring and enjoying the fantasy of intimacy in a love story. The imagination for a sexual experience birthed the different sexual positions explored in recent times. But what’s the essence of this position is PE always robs you of the fun you hear about.
Understandably, stimulated responses differ from the sexual position practiced. Some positions provide a suitable environment for high sexual arousal, while some positions tend to give you control over your ejaculation.
Some positions notable for providing control over ejaculation include but not limited to doggy style, kneeling position, side to side, female superior, cowgirl, non-penetrative missionary, reverse cowgirl, etc.
certain antidepressant drugs have proven effective in the treatment of PE. These drugs contain selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) such as sertraline, paroxetine commonly associated with delayed ejaculation. These drugs are not certified by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) for treatment; however, they are considered safe for consumption.
Having a high expectation is the biggest flawed mindset limiting the opportunity to experience an awesome sexual experience. Anxiety is a common phenomenal experience in various fields of study as several people think highly of you and expect a certain level of efficiency.
The relative impulse to be excellently efficient is a wrong conception to be portrayed during sexual intercourse. This not only limits your ability to enjoy sex but rather leaves you vulnerable or your partner disappointed at the outcome of an event.
Causes of performance anxiety
The fear of failing during sexual intercourse is often considered the biggest factor of anxiety during sex. Terrible outcomes of previous sexual experiences usually fuel this anxiety. In a bid to satisfy your current partner, anxiety sets in and leads to poor performance, which is often disappointing and disdainful and can negatively influence your self-esteem.
How to overcome performance anxiety
It’s quite common for the affected individual to shy away from the sexual relationship as this help doesn’t bruise their ego and provides an escape route to cover for their poor sexual performance. As easy and comfortable as it might be, it’s not the best approach to tackling the issue.
To overcome sexual anxiety, perseverance must be attained to help break free from the guilt often accompanied by a bad experience. In other to break free, certain conditions must be met, and this includes:
Discussing your problem with your sexual partner: having a supportive and understanding partner makes you ahead of the process by one step. Freely admitting that there’s a problem and openly discussing it with your partner creates an opportunity to explore your sexual life and know which method is suitable for a quick recuperation process.
Overcoming insecurities: insecurities leading to anxiety in men are usually associated with a lack of positive body image. Some men feel inferior due to certain insecurities such as penis size, obesity, height, etc. the easiest way to overcome these insecurities is to seek help and improve statuses that can be changed. But if not, it’s best to learn how to live with them and boost your self-esteem.
See a Sex Therapist
Certain individuals are trained to understand the extent of damage done to your esteem and help jump-start your sexual experience by just having an interactive session with you.
Confidentiality is of high priority in this situation, so any information you share with your counselor is safe and cannot be discussed with another person. This assurance makes it easiest to communicate and get the necessary help to overcome anxiety.
Use a Delay Spray
Delay spray is another excellent option considered in treating premature ejaculation. The spray is often applied to the penis a few hours before vaginal penetration. This function reduces the sensitivity at the tip of the penis.
It works similarly to the numbing cream. One great advantage of the delay spray is that it reduces hypersensitivity in the male reproductive organ without limiting the sexual pleasure experienced by the female. This means your partner is not affected in any way, and you can attain climax effortlessly.
Improve Your Immune System
Observing a healthy lifestyle builds up the immune system to fight diseases and increases your sexual stamina. An improved health status generally influences day-to-day activities, which also include your performance during sexual intercourse.
To constantly keep fit, it’s important to engage yourself with activities such as hiking, running, playing tennis, swimming, etc. keeping fit doesn’t require a magic wand to get; consistency is vital and of the essence.
Most supplements manufactured to improve sexual stamina contain a neurotransmitter such as serotonin which is also notable for improving depression. Taking supplements or pills are often regarded as secondary options when other methods prove abortive as drugs are known to leave residual side effects.
Since every individual ejaculates at a different time, a time frame for PE is debatable; most men might ejaculate as soon as vaginal penetration occurs during the first round.
In contrast, sustainable ejaculation is experienced in subsequent rounds, and this makes the issue of premature ejaculation relative.
In all, consider the best options that work for you, research on the chosen technique, ask questions, constant practice is essential, and always communicate areas of concern with your partner.