No matter how much sex you have, it can end up boring.
Yes, I said it. Sex is not always great. It’s easy to get into a rut when just one person is your sexual partner.
With long term relationships you can end up doing it the same way every time. There’s no more sexual tension. You’re no longer sexually adventurous. YOu’re used to each other’s bodies. It would seem weird to bring up new positions or all of a sudden come up with a sexy surprise. It may make your partner feel like you’re trying to make up for something.
If you have a lot of partners you can end up also doing the same things because you know they work and get the job done. More sex doesn’t mean better sex. But you yourself are going to end up bored with the other person because it’s just not a turn on anymore.
That’s why it’s important – particularly as you get older – to learn how to spice up your sex life. I know from personal experience. For about five years I got into a serious rut. Then I took the time to read up about sex and trying out new things.
It brought back all of the excitement I used to get from sex when I was younger.
Now I can show you what you need to do to spice things up in your sex life.
Your sexual health will improve. Your relationship will improve. Your partner will be impressed and you’ll end up having a much better time in bed than you’ve had in ages. And it can take just one night and very little effort!
It’s a win/win for everyone involved.
How Is Your Sex Life?
How is your sex life really? Is it like when you were 20 and jumping for joy every time a girl spread her legs for you? Or is it a chore – just something to do when you are horny and want to get off?
As we get older it’s going to be less fresh and interesting. That’s how our sex life begins to dwindle and become much less fun.
But with just a little bit of effort, you can get your sex life humming again.
You just need to be willing to experiment, be a little silly and listen to what your partner really wants. If you can give her that she’ll be thrilled and you’ll be beaming with masculine pride.
It does take some effort, but trust me, the rewards are well worth it.
If you ask women over the age of about 25 what they want more of in the bedroom the number one response is going to be “oral sex.” That’s what makes a woman cum the most often. You may think your dick is the king but most girls would rather have your tongue.
That’s because most young men are so happy to get any pussy they are more than willing to go down on it.
But as guys get older they get more focused on their dicks. They are less willing to go down.
They figure that as long as they are in the saddle they are rulers of the world. They are not. Instead, they are making their partners miss out on one of the best sexual experiences in the world.
I know a lot of guys say “well she doesn’t blow me anymore, why should I go down on her?”. But the truth is the reason she isn’t blowing you is that you aren’t going down on her.
So the first basic step towards spicing up your sex life is to simply get your face between her legs and go to chow down.
Certified Sex Therapist
If you have trouble communicating with your partner about what she likes and wants in bed, hitting up a sex therapist can help.
You can go as a couple and in a safe environment she can open up about what she honestly wants.
It may be that she has held back on telling you because she doesn’t want to hurt your ego. Simply spend the sessions listening to what she has to say.
Then you can chime in with your own fantasies and the two of you can come up with a compromise of what you both expect out of your sex life.
The conversation may be awkward at first but it will open up lines of communication.
Sexual communication is key, and you’ll discover new ways to express yourself in bed so you both get the most enjoyment out of it.
Spice Up Your Sex Life
Ok. Now you know that you gotta go down more often. That’s the most basic thing a dude can do to make sex better for both you and her. And you know that if you have trouble communicating you can go to a certified sex coach.
What do you do now to spice up your sex life? The first thing is to think about what your partner said to you and how you can incorporate it into your sex life.
Think about exactly what she said and try to make it happen.
You should have also told her what appeals to you and she should be able to make some accommodation to that. Maybe she’d like you to use a big dildo on her. Buy a big dildo and pound her with it.
Maybe you’d like to lick her ass. She should let you.
It doesn’t matter what you do to spice up your sex life as long as you do it. A little bit of effort can go a long way.
After oral sex, this is the second most popular sexual thing for women. But they may be embarrassed to tell you about it because society is really down on female sexuality. Let her open up to you about what she wants.
She may want you to call her a “slut” or a “whore.” Or she may want to be called a “princess.” She may want to tell you to “cum inside me” even if you are wearing a condom. She might want to praise your cock.
Whatever she says she wants you to say, figure out a way to give it to her. You can practice in the shower if it seems awkward at first. Or sending sexy texts can be a way to break the ice.
At the same time, there may be things you want to hear her say. She should be willing to say anything that gets your motor running. After all, it’s all just fantasy and has nothing to do with your real lives.Sex Toys
The third most popular thing women want in bed is the incorporation of a sex toy into the bedroom. This is not a competition with your own dick. It’s using the toy to supplement your penis, explore her erogenous zones, and give her the most satisfaction possible.
She may want you to hold a vibrator against her clit while you have to have sex. She may be a big fan of shoving a dildo up her pussy while you go down on her.
Perhaps she’d like to try out a butt plug either as foreplay or something to keep inside her ass during sex.
There’s nothing wrong with any of that and if it gets her off she’ll want to have sex more often with you – and that’s a good thing. Just pay attention to what she wants, pay attention to how her body responds, and you’ll be taking your relationship to the next level in no time.
Who says intimacy can’t be hot?
Women get bored always having sex in bed. While that might be the primary place they want to get fucked, once in a while they’d like it someplace different.
This is what I call the “kitchen counter effect.” That’s because it is a safe space that is not the bedrom for couples to have spontaneous sex.
While she’s cooking you can reach out, give her a hug from behind and kiss her neck. Then you can see what that leads to.
You can use this technique anywhere. Maybe she’d like to be bent over the couch. Or if she’s daring the next time you are at a party find different rooms for a quickie.
Once again, talk to her and listen to what she really wants. It will help you figure out where the best place is to try out the kitchen counter effect.
Mixing things up like this is the best tip I can give you. Something as easy as kissing and skin on skin contact in a place where it’s not common to have sex can be so much fun. Hell, even scented candles in the laundry room might do the trick!
It’s all about making that sexual connection, rekindling that sexual desire, and having it all lead to a newfound sexual satisfaction.
This is for people who really want to spice up their sex life and are willing to cross some boundaries to do it. But you’d be surprised at how many women love the backdoor once they know they have permission to do it.
She may want you to lick her asshole. Or she may appreciate a finger up her bum while you go down on her. Many women like to stick their finger in a guy’s ass while giving him a blow job because it makes him have an epic cum.
This is something the two of you can discuss together before your next encounter and if she’s interested give it a go.
Many women report that they get the deepest orgasms of their life from butt stuff. And as long as she’s recently showered it’s no dirtier than any other type of sex.
It should be obvious from this blog that human sexuality is a complex thing. There is no one “right” way to spice up your sex life.
It’s all about communicating with your partner, finding out what her needs are, and then expressing your own desires.
Both of you may be surprised at what your partner tells you. But sex is sex and there is nothing wrong at all with any sexual desires. You just have to communicate with your partner and that will help spice things up in the bedroom.
Human sexuality covers a lot of different things. And you’ll never know what you’ll like until you try it out.
It’s easy to get into a sexual rut. And that will make sex boring for you and the woman you are having it with. But it’s also easy to get out of that rut and finally start having great sex again.
Try oral sex. Try playing with toys. Definitely get into talking dirty. And if she wants it, take a go at anal.
There is no limit to what you and her can want in bed and you can find a way to rock each other’s worlds again.
Great sex is within your reach – so go for the gold!