Which is the better for longer-lasting, enjoyable sex?
Andrea uses an IUD so I don’t normally wear a condom when we have sex. And although I don’t get many questions from my readers about desensitizing condoms, I’ve always been curious about how well they work, so I thought I would just one a try.
My predictions were correct. I don’t like them at all. But I’m not everybody so it’s worth discussing the pros and cons.
First, those of you who do use condoms fall into one of these three groups.
- You’re already using a condom at least occasionally for birth control and/or the spread of STDs
- You use a condom for anal sex only to minimize clean-up (not for the spread of AIDS or STDs)
- You’re using a condom only because they help you last longer
Case C – The Best Sprays Provide Minimize the Desensitized Area of the Penis and Also Provide Dose Adjustment
Let’s take case (C) first because this discussion also applies to Cases (A) and (B). First, a little background. Whether desired or not, Condoms INDIRECTLY desensitize the penis and most men last longer when using them. A number of years ago, condom makers began making “double-thick” condoms that can help men with ejaculation control. For even more control, condom makers recently started added benzocaine or lidocaine to the inside surface of the condom, thereby DIRECTLY desensitizing the penis.
If you have been using condoms for the sole purpose of lasting longer, then you should seriously think about switching to a delay spray. You’ll get better control and much, much better sensation. For example, I only use a small about of spray and apply it to the frenulum. Sure, you’ll be a little bit desensitized in that small area, but the rest of your penis will feel the same. BTW, some desensitizing sprays will spread around to other areas of your penis. I have found that, with both of the advanced formula desensitizing sprays – Promescent and Fortacin – the effect stays very localized to the application area, so the rest of your penis maintains full sensation. Not so much with the other sprays I have tried.
Another strong point in favor of using a spray is dose control. With a desensitizing condom, it’s – pardon the pun – one size fits all. I’m not talking about the actual size of the condom, I’m talking about the dose of the anesthetic. You get what you get. With a spray, you can vary the dose based on your penis sensitivity and vary the dose each time you use it. Haven’t had sex for a while? Just use an extra spray or two!! I see this as a major advantage.
Cases A and B – Added Benefit of Foreplay Without a Condom
With cases (A) and (B), you’re going to be wearing a condom anyway, so there is some advantage to not having to deal with a desensitizing spray and a condom. I get that. A desensitizing condom requires less prep and will definitely slow you down. In case you skipped reading Case C because your wear a condom, anyway. GO READ CASE (C). These arguments also apply to Cases (A) and (B). Even a regular condom without a desensitizing agent will reduce sensation across your entire penis whereas a spray can be located to a tiny area – in most cases the frenulum.
Whether using a spray or a condom with a desensitizing agent, there’s still a waiting period prior to intercourse, allowing time for the anesthetic to work. Great time for foreplay. BTW, refrain from receiving oral sex during this time period or the anesthetic will transfer to your partner’s mouth – I’ve made the mistake early on and Andrea wasn’t thrilled!!! My PE isn’t so bad that I ejaculate during normal foreplay and the effect with Promescent (my go-to delay spray) grows stronger with each minute (until about 10 minutes when it’s all absorbed) so even if she starts to get aggressive with hand play, I’ll normally keep things under control. But, for me, foreplay while wearing a condom is not nearly as pleasurable. When using a desensitizing spray, you can enjoy foreplay for the 5-10 minute (or longer) waiting period, then slip on the condom just before intercourse.
I think when you add up the three benefits, you’ll want to use a desensitizing spray plus a regular condom rather than a desensitizing condom.
Note: Some makers of desensitizing recommend not using their products with a condom. Unless your chosen spray specifically says that it’s OK to use them together, I recommend that you don’t.