When you make a woman your wife, there’s no two ways about it – your relationship changes. Marriage is the biggest thing that will ever happen in your life, even more important than the kids you may have together.
So, How to Seduce your Wife?
There was a time when you two used to wouldn’t have to make full sentences while speaking to each other because you knew each other so well. Just seeing her walk into a room was a major turn on. Your sexual desire was off the charts.
But marriage is a surefire way to change everything. All of a sudden you aren’t getting the same sexual satisfaction. Sex has become the least important part of your relationship. She’s not just your wife; she’s the other person in your life, in your home, in your bed, up in your grill 24/7.
Buddy, you need immediate help. You need to learn how to seduce your wife.
It sounds weird, right? After all, she’s your wife. You should know how to make your wife enjoy herself in bed. Lord knows you’ve had enough sexual experience together throughout your relationship. You’ve been having sex for years.
But that doesn’t matter now, does it? The desire is gone. She’s not in the mood, or maybe you’re not in the mood. You’re barely showing affection to each other. You’re not talking much anymore like you used to, and it doesn’t seem like she’s interested in pleasure at all.
Don’t worry, dude. Most people who are married go through this. It is perfectly normal. But at the same time, something has to be done about it.
Well. Now we’re going to talk about it.
Is this going to be informed professional advice? Probably not. Am I a qualified mental health professional? Nope. But experience counts for a lot, and I and my friends have that in spades.
Settle in. It’s gonna get bumpy in here.
How Did You Get Here in Your Sex Life?
In the early days, when you were still just boyfriend and girlfriend, seduction was a breeze. You couldn’t get your hands off each other. She’s the sexiest thing you’d ever seen, and you were a stud – there was no way your problems could be from the bedroom.
But today, your relationship looks like a shadow of itself, and whenever you initiate sex, it appears your wife’s feelings are no longer existent. You get the eye roll or the “I have a headache” line. In your honest opinion, you have made all the effort, and you are getting close to not bothering anymore.
Your wife no longer gets the sense that her husband appreciates how much effort she’s put into looking good. She may eventually doubt that you still crave physical affection; you just want sex.
And no, those two are not the same things.
With that feeling comes resentment will happen and the eye roll when you initiate sex. Now she’s no longer attracted to you, and the relationship has changed for the worse. And that’s when you need to get serious and seduce your wife.
Emotional Intimacy and Physical intimacy in Building Sexual Interest
Many men fail to realize that before intimacy and desire, women prefer an emotional connection. As a married man, both you and your wife need to continue showing affection to each other in a long-term relationship like marriage.
So you need to understand a woman’s desire, and what and how a woman feels.
To continually seduce your wife is an extended plan that involves building emotional intimacy. It is not something you achieve in one day or a week. Even some casual relationships require work before pleasure. In other words, it is going to be a step-by-step process that keeps you both interested.
The things you do or don’t do every day as a husband will influence your wife’s decision to find you attractive again. So, if you are not genuine (most women can sense this), she will read you easily. You must practice doing the same thing, even after you must have succeeded in making her fall for you again.
Secondly, understand that women generally take time to develop that attraction in the first place.
And when she loses it, you have to be patient and let her find her way. If your intentions are true and follow these steps, you will be on your way to rekindle the fire.
This is the only way you will turn on her emotions, seduce, and make her want to have sex with you, her husband, again.
Alright, let’s get to it!
Step 1: Remember Why You Fell for Her
It is so important that you have genuine intentions. Sex should not be the main reason you want to seduce your wife.
Of course, sex is part of it. But rediscovering the real connection is the first part.
When you are on the same level intellectually, then you can move on to other things and eventually seduce your wife.
Remember why you concluded she was the one for you when you were still dating. It is not just so that you can engage in sexual activity with her.
Is sex the only reason you fell for her? Surely, that is not the only reason why you asked her to be your lifelong spouse all those years after the first date.
What made her different from others that you decided to continue after dating?
Think about this. Reminisce on her qualities that attracted you in the first place. Think about how good she makes you feel.
Remember how you looked forward to having a conversation with her, spending time with her, and how she was the most beautiful thing in the world. She was more than your friend.
Seducing a woman has more to do with getting to her heart than just what goes on underneath the sheets. She must feel secure and trust your intentions before anything will happen.
Ask yourself, do I want to bring back the old spark in my relationship? Do I need more than a friend and companion?
Your answer will help you understand your feelings. If your answer is yes, you are on the right path to make your marriage hot again.
Step 2: Start Taking Responsibility
Whenever you try to have hot sex with your wife, and she comes up with excuses, your manly instincts will tell you to let it be, and with time, she will realize that she should not have turned you down – then everything will return to normal.
You couldn’t be more wrong! If a woman gives you an excuse just one time, then it is probably just an excuse. But if she consistently gives reasons every time you try to get cozy and sexy with her, then you need to be worried.
Begin to look for solutions immediately. Try to have a conversation with her and find out if something is wrong. If you don’t get anything, think.
Retrace your steps. Relive some of the moments that you both have experienced recently, and try to remember if you have messed up in one way or another.
This is better than leaving things as they are and letting them work themselves out. In short, start taking responsibility.
Take charge of the situation and find ways you can fix it sooner.
Step 3: Pay More Attention to the Little Things
The saying “the little things matter” is a cliche, but that doesn’t mean it is not valid. In many relationships, especially marriage, the little things do count and are remembered.
In fact, if you are going to seduce your wife, then you have to do the little sexy things.
Again, even though seduction is part of the end game here, you must be genuine about doing the little things. The little things can brighten her day and indeed score you some points in her book.
You must be honest in doing these things because you will not stop after a seduction is successful. It has to become a habit. Practice doing little things for your partner.
Try talking about her outfit, help her get laundry done, put the children to bed, make her favorite espresso the way she’ll like it, prepare her favorite dish, and more things along this line.
Also, don’t grumble while doing any of these. Serve her that cup of coffee with a smile, and when you are genuine, she’ll know it, and the stars will align for you.
When you don’t do some things as well as she would have done, she won’t be mad. She’ll be surprised and appreciate the thought.
Step 4: Shower Her with Affection
When you were dating, you used to make sure that she’ll have your undivided attention. You would hold her hand, touch her waist, and touch her hair while you were in the middle of a deep conversation.
Think about how talking and touching worked back then. All these surprised her emotions.
A widespread issue with most married couples is, after the wedding, many people stop trying. They think because they are married, there is no need for them to show affection.
This is a mistake. You have to do more to make things sizzle in bed.
It would help if you showed her affection more when you are married. Don’t stop.
If you have forgotten how to show your woman affection, then here are a few ways to remind you.
- Kiss her: Before leaving the house in the morning, kiss her on the cheeks and forehead. At night, kiss her on the lips. When she is naughty, kiss her. Kiss her hands and her forehead. She’ll feel special
- Tell her how beautiful she is: Make it a habit to tell her how beautiful she is. Someone once said that the most beautiful thing in the world is an attractive woman who lets you kiss her. When you are caught off guard, tell her she looks pretty. She’ll feel confident.
- Hug her: When you watch television, give her a side hug and pull her close to you. If you are standing outside the house, put your arm around her waist. Pull her into your arms when you talk.
- Hold her hands: Hold her hands when you talk. When you are reading something, palm your hands with yours. When you walk with her, put your hand on her lower back. When you eat with her, hold hands.
- Listen to her: Always pay attention to her. For instance, let her talk about her day and ask questions about her work. When you are listening with both ears, she’ll feel loved. She may not need you to offer solutions to her problems. Just listening to her will mean a lot. It reassures her that she is not alone, and both of you will navigate life together.
- Massage her: After having had a long day, if she is tired, give her a foot massage and a body massage. If she is stressed, try giving her a back rub. Sometimes, the most magical thing to do for your woman is giving her a rub down.
Step 5: Make Her Feel Adored
Everyone loves to feel unique and adored. This brings joy and happiness to people.
Knowing that someone adores you makes you understand how important you are to them. It also emphasizes the respect a person has for you.
Well, this also applies to your wife.
Remember when you were trying to win her heart? That time before she even said I love you too. You worked hard to show her just how you think she is unique and should be treated like a queen.
You did all these when you were making her fall for you.
You have stopped this after marriage. Now you know you need to start making her feel special again. If you are in any doubt, follow the steps below:
- Work on yourself: Let us consider when you were trying to get this attractive-looking lady to notice you. You shaved, you were conscious of the clothes you wore, and you even hit the gym every other day to complement other efforts.
Why did you stop? It is laziness and being complacent. You think; she is my wife. Why do I have to impress her again?
That is where you are wrong. The need to impress your wife shows a couple of things.
First, it shows that you respect her. Secondly, you think she is still worth impressing because she is still a catch.
And lastly, it is crucial to keep the spark alive for things to be interesting in bed.
If you have gained a few pounds too recently, start exercising. This does not mean hitting the gym every day but move around more.
Go for a walk with your wife and kids. Try to be physically active throughout the day; this will also help you get that lean, healthy body.
Take your hygiene seriously; work harder to maintain it. Make sure you smell good, wear nice clothes and have a fresh haircut.
Don’t neglect your skin; take care to wash your face and keep those facial hairs in check.
- Please keep her in the loop of your life: Try to keep her updated with what is new in your life. Sometimes, some things that you are doing might not be exciting to your wife, but she will wonder why you never mention them. Don’t forget to ask her for advice about what you should do and not do.
- Surprise her with gifts and other treats: Women love gifts, don’t they? Please take advantage of this, and once in a while, surprise her. It will make her feel good. The gifts don’t have to be so expensive; just a well=thought gift will do. Buy her flowers. Make it a habit of buying her a bouquet now and then.
Be observant when you go out. If she says, oh, this dress looks perfect. If you can afford it, get it for her.
Show that you listen to her. If you are home before her, start on dinner or open a bottle of wine for her.
Women love these things. Things like these will help you seduce your wife the right way.
- Make her laugh: Who doesn’t like a good laugh. We are back at it: remember when you were still trying to win her over, you knew all the jokes and how to make her laugh. On every date, during most phone calls, and in some text messages, you always find ways to lighten the mood.
You have to bring those jokes to your marriage too. Find ways to make her laugh and to bring a smile to her face.
There is no need to get jokes every day, but every other day will work. You can do this while in bed or before sleep, watching some comedy shows together on TV and reading joke books together.
Make her laugh, and you will be sure to feel a little lighter about your marriage.
- Compliment her: Compliments to a woman are like water to a flower. They give her a feeling of euphoria and make her feel good. Unfortunately, a lot of men forget to compliment their wives.
They believe because they have told her she is beautiful before, so she should know this by now. That is wrong again.
Never forget to give your wife compliments. Be genuine, too, because if you are not honest, you will get in trouble.
If she wears a dress you think is beautiful, be sure to let her know it is a nice dress. If she makes new hair, you must notice. Compliment her daily if possible.
- The more you compliment her, the more secure and happy she feels. When your wife is confident in her body, she will feel loved and beautiful.
The combination of all these will make her feel sexy as well. Never turn down a chance to compliment your wife. Be her cheerleader, and you will see that it is worth it in the long run.
Step 6: Most Women Love When You Give, Give and Give
Giving does not mean spending money and buying all sorts of gifts for your beautiful wife (although, if you can afford it, why not?).
Giving here means giving your wife your undivided attention, doing things for her without expecting anything in return. Women like it when you want to make them happy.
If you can attain this level of giving, then you are doing something right. Add that to the fact that your wife will adore you for being selfless.
Being a giver should also extend to the bedroom. Make an effort to please her. Let her satisfaction be your priority sometimes.
This means more foreplay before intercourse. Remember, women take longer to get stimulated than men. Be patient and let her take her time to get in the mood.
Allow her to steer you through what your wife likes.
Let her share her thoughts with you during bedtime. Let her feel comfortable discussing her ideas with you. Let her choose what feels comfortable to her.
She’s the one who knows what works best for her body.
Men should understand that their wives are not porn stars. Take it slow and actually seduce your wife.
Kiss her on every inch of her body, on her stretch marks, on her arms, legs, and belly. Help her feel comfortable in her skin.
You must make her love her body! So, instead of just focusing on how you feel, think of what your wife likes and what feels good for her.
The Bottom Line
There you have it! Now you know the things you must do to seduce your wife the right way.
It is not enough for you to do those things once. You have to keep doing them over and over again. Make them a part of your life.
Remember, seduction is a process. It is about slowly building attraction in a woman (your wife).
Once you pay attention to the things that make her happy and make an effort to do the little things that matter to others, your chances of success and bringing back the old spark in your marriage will be much higher.
The more you do this, the more you will see your marriage spring back to life.
Above all, respect is the most important thing. Respect your wife, her choices, her time, and her opinion.
And never forget to show your appreciation. Showing your love and gratitude will do wonders for your relationship.